Letting go of a painful past is one of the most common and complex struggles I see in therapy. Many people enter the therapeutic process seeking insight, only to find themselves stuck—replaying memories, revisiting betrayals, and cycling through the same emotional responses. Even as we move forward analytically, old wounds often resurface.
This isn’t weakness or failure—it’s the psyche doing what it does best: repeating what has not yet been resolved. From a depth psychology perspective, this pattern can be understood and worked with. But first, we need to name it.
The Psychological Grip of the Past
In The Yoga Sutras, the pull of the past is referred to as “clinging to life by its own potency.” Jungian psychology calls it fixation—a state where psychic energy, or libido, remains bound to unresolved experiences. In psychodynamic theory, when forward movement is blocked, regression often follows. This turns our energy inward and reactivates painful emotional content.
These are not merely concepts—they’re living patterns. I’ve experienced this personally and have witnessed it in clients who, despite great insight, find themselves looping through the same internal terrain. Letting go isn’t about erasing the past. It’s about transforming your relationship to it.
What It Means to Transcend the Past
To transcend something, in the Jungian sense, is not to move past it, but to rise above habitual reactions to it. The events may not change—but how we respond can. Even when your emotional responses feel entirely justified, healing invites a new kind of engagement.
Here’s where the deeper work begins.
Steps Toward Releasing the Past
1. Loosen the grip of moral injustice.
A painful history often includes real harm, betrayal, or abandonment. Still, holding onto the belief that it should have been different can keep us bound. Releasing this doesn’t mean condoning the harm—it means unhooking from the narrative that your healing depends on someone else’s actions.
2. Let go of blame.
Blame serves a short-term protective function, but long-term healing requires us to shift from blame to responsibility—specifically, responsibility for how we now choose to relate to what happened.
3. Practice abreaction.
In psychodynamic therapy, abreaction is the process of consciously re-experiencing repressed emotions associated with trauma. This allows for the integration of disowned parts of the self. When we retrieve these fragmented aspects, we begin to restore wholeness.
4. Explore your dreams.
Dreams are powerful tools for healing. They reveal the unconscious mind’s symbolic language and often highlight what remains unresolved. Jung believed that dreams offer the psyche’s attempt at self-regulation and growth. Paying attention to them can help locate the missing pieces within.
A New Relationship with Your Story
Healing the past doesn’t mean forgetting it. It means choosing to respond from a new place of insight, maturity, and strength. When we interrupt the cycle of fixation and bring curiosity to our own unconscious material, we reclaim our psychic energy and open space for transformation.
Letting go isn’t passive. It’s an act of engagement—one that asks you to turn inward, gather what’s been lost, and meet your story from a place of integration, not reactivity.
Work with Me
If you’re ready to change your relationship with your past, I offer therapy in Indiana and Connecticut, and I also lead Your Therapy RX—a weekly online coaching group designed to support emotional healing and connection. Through a depth-oriented lens and mind-body practices, we’ll work together to help you move forward—wholeheartedly and with intention.
